You’re Never Really Stuck

Alyssa Patmos 0:04
This is Make It Mentionable. I’m Alyssa Patmos and this is the show about being human in a world that encourages us to be robots. I invite you to join me as we journey through the mess, the magic and the mania in between. Because what we can talk about, we can manage. This honest conversation extravaganza includes free flowing conversations and high doses of vulnerability to remind you that you aren’t alone. No topic is off limits, and episodes are designed to leave you smarter, aka more self aware than when you came. I am so glad you’re here.

This Week’s Question: Have You Felt Stuck Recently?

Alyssa Patmos 0:50
Hello, Hello. And welcome back to another episode of Make It Mentionable.

I’m your host, Alyssa Patmos and I have a question for you.

Have you ever found yourself saying that you feel stuck?
Have you felt stuck recently?

You know, we talk about language a lot here because it’s the language patterns that we use.

It’s the stories we tell ourselves and the stories that we tell other people that create this reality that we experience in that we live in.

And there’s so much power behind our language and what we’re saying, because we hear ourselves all day long.

And it reinforces if we have, if it reinforces our thought patterns and how we make sense of the world.

And so have you recently felt like you were stuck or caught yourself saying, ‘I feel stuck right now’?

I want to break through this right now.

I’m trying out a new format where it’s a little bit shorter, and just a quick pivot that you can adopt.

We’ll see I might peppered in every once in awhile, I might do it more often, we shall see.

But in general, if you feel stuck, I want you to remember this pivot to this thought it’s impossible to be stuck. It’s actually impossible to be stuck.

Feeling Stuck Is Real: Being Stuck Is Impossible (Here’s Why)

Because energy is always in motion.

So we can feel like things are going really, really slow.

But it’s impossible to just be stuck with no energy, with no motion whatsoever.

And so that feels freeing to me.

Because when I feel stuck, then I know: it’s not actually that I’m not moving.

It’s that I’m directing my energy to places that probably aren’t best serving me.

So when you feel stuck, take a look at, where is your energy being directed?

And how does it need to be pivoted?

Because when you can pivot your energy to focus on what you want, instead of what you don’t want.

It’s amazing how quickly you start to feel like you’re in motion again, so much of what stalls us is a lack of momentum.

But recognizing where we’re focusing our energy is usually that first baby step that it takes to build up the momentum.

Leaky Energy: The Secret To What’s Making You Feel ‘Stalled Out’ in Life

So one of the things that I, that I love talking about and bringing awareness to when it comes to energy is a concept of leaky energy.

So we only have so much energy in a day.

And in the chronic illness community, they talk about it in terms of spoons, so they say, you know, we have like so many spoons that we can use in a day.

And so you have to determine where they go.

And maybe one task takes one spoon, but another task takes three spoons.

And so you have to assess and orient to where your energy is going throughout the day.

And I think that serves as a great metaphor, and a foundation for understanding the concept of leaky energy.

So where are you spending energy, where you don’t even realize how much is going there?

A very classic example of this in my own life is having things on my to do list that I know if I sat down and did them would take three to five minutes.

But for some reason, they’ve just been there for a week.

That is the epitome of leaky energy, and it is not helpful.

So if you want to feel like you’re not stuck, if you want to get back to feeling like you’re in motion, remember, we’re always in motion.

That’s a first mental reframe to start with right there.

It is impossible to be stuck.

And then start to look at ‘Okay, where am I actually directing my energy? And that can start with, ‘Where am I leaking energy? Where do I have leaky energy?’ And then look at ‘Okay, where where is my energy going? Where do I want to go?’

And when we can start filling the gap in between where energy is going and where we want it to be going, we can feel like we’re breathing again and we start to feel like we’re back in the zone.

This Pivot Will Get You ‘Unstuck’ Fast

Alyssa Patmos 5:03
So quick pep talk and a pivot for you, it is impossible to be stuck.

So with that reframe what opens up to you, one place to start exploring that is to look at, where are you leaking energy?

Where are you spending energy on things that you don’t even realize it or that it’s just a drain and it’s zapping you?

You only have so many spoons. So where do you want those spoons to go?

When we operate unconsciously, we’re at the whim of whatever thought patterns happen to creep up that day.

I – another example of leaky energy that’s just coming to me is the amount of tabs open in our browsers. I’m notorious for doing this.

And what ends up happening is if I leave 50, which is not an exaggeration, tabs open, then from the day before, when I come sit at my computer in the morning, my energy and my thought patterns are instantly going back to the place where I was yesterday.

And that’s not helpful, because it’s infiltrating my thoughts this morning, which may have been in a way better spot.

And so that’s an example of leaky energy.

One thing I can do to better focus my energy is make sure I close those tabs down.

And that way, when I sit down at my computer in the morning, it becomes a conscious choice of where I’m going to direct my energy, rather than being an unconscious choice of just absorbing what I was doing yesterday afternoon.

So for you, where are you leaking energy? Where do you want to be directing your energy?

And in what ways are you already directing your energy in positive ways?

Because what we appreciate appreciates, and even if you feel stuck, remember, it’s impossible to be stuck.

Why I Recommend Celebrating Your Momentum (Even When It Feels Invisible)

So give yourself some credit for where you’re doing things right.

Where have you made movements?

When I look back at the past two years, there’s some areas where I felt like ‘Oh my goodness, this is going so slow.’

But when I take a look, and I realized, ‘Oh, my God, I moved to Denver, I met Geoff, I’m now engaged. I completely pivoted in the business, I launched a podcast, like looking at all of these things that can happen when we get a different perspective.’

When we take a step back and look at ‘Wait, where has my energy actually been going?’

And when it has that brought me in zooming out and looking at what what we have done can be great for energy management, because we can see all of the ways where we were moving and we actually had momentum, but didn’t realize it.

So zooming out and getting this bigger perspective of appreciating ‘Wait, what have I actually done?’, can help us re align our perspective to to the facts of, of what has unfolded, because it’s usually more than we think, especially when we’re stuck in that feeling of feeling stuck.

Reflection Question: Where Are You Directing Your Energy? (After All, It’s Always In Motion)

So the perspective pivot for you today is to remember it is impossible to be stuck.

And from that place, recognizing, ‘okay, if I’m always in motion, then it becomes where am I directing my energy?’ And if you assess ‘where am I leaking energy, what’s draining me versus what lights me up? And where do I want to be focusing my energy?’

It becomes very simple to shift our perspective from this feeling of stuckness, this feeling of motionlessness, to a way I can breathe, and I have some momentum again.

Alyssa Patmos 8:40
This has been another episode of Make It Mentionable. Thank you so much for tuning in.

And if you want more in between episodes, head on over to AlyssaPatmos.com/ThePeel. And sign up for my newsletter where I send emails with perspectives so fresh, you might just change your life.

Thanks so much. Catch you next week.

You’ve just finished listening to another episode of Make It Mentionable with me your host Alyssa Patmos. If you’re looking for more in between episodes, then sign up for The Peel. It’s my free newsletter that gives tips for how to navigate whatever life dishes and it’s also the place where I share the juiciest stories. To check it out. Head on over to AlyssaPatmos.com/ThePeel. Thank you so much for tuning in. And I’ll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai